I met again
with Terrence last Tuesday for a fifth time. He wanted to meet at the bookstore
but as soon as we sat down he made plans to go to a Chinese food restaurant
next time we meet. I learned a lot from him this time, especially about what
it’s like growing up in a Chinese household.
For the
first time since we met, Terrence brought up his girlfriend. He told me that
they came to TCU together, which sheds light on the reason why he hasn’t gotten
homesick much since he’s been here. I was under the impression that he didn’t
know anyone when he came here and with how family-oriented Chinese culture is,
I thought it was weird that he hadn’t gotten homesick at all. He also mentioned
for the first time that he was excited to go home for winter break in a few
weeks. Up to this point he hasn’t seemed excited to go home because he was
enjoying his experience here so much.
Since he
brought up his girlfriend, I asked if most of his friends back home had
girlfriends as well. He told me that it was very rare for two people to date in
high school. He said that the schools were very strict about boy-girl
interaction and they weren’t even allowed to hold hands, much less date. I
asked why that was and he wasn’t able to give me much of an explanation except
that it was looked down upon by just about everyone. Parental approval was the most
important thing, which is why Terrence was able to date someone. He said his
parents were very open-minded about most things. Even if it is something
abnormal in Chinese culture, he told me that they would always consider it and
work through it with him.
He said
that most parents were vastly different than this though. Punishments could be
as harsh as physically hitting for something like dating a girl behind your
parents’ backs. I asked what else kids could be punished for and everything he
listed off was related to academics: cheating, not doing homework, bad grades,
etc. He emphasized again that getting caught with a girl was far worse than any
of these though.
I think
that parental control over children has gotten less strict in America than it
used to be. When my parents were growing up physical punishment was not out of
the question, even by teachers or other authority figures. Nowadays it is much
less common—I don’t recall ever being hit when I did something wrong as a
child. In my experience as a nanny I have found that punishment in general
doesn’t take place very often anymore. The parents I have nannied for were too
busy with their own jobs and own lives to take the time to punish their kids.
Rather, they would just give them whatever they wanted in order to keep them
happy. I’m sure this isn’t true in every household but it is something I have
noticed in the several I have been exposed to.
The rest of
the time Terrence and I talked about school and some of the projects and
assignments he has had to do. Right now he is writing a paper comparing texting
versus talking on the phone. He thinks that texting is more efficient for him
because when he talks on the phone in English many people can’t understand him
due to his accent. I think it is interesting how texting can mask the fact that
he isn’t a native English speaker and is in fact still learning the language.
When he texts me I wouldn’t be able to tell that he was originally a
Chinese-speaker except for a few grammar mistakes here and there.
I am
looking forward to our final meeting following the Thanksgiving break!
No comments:
Post a Comment