Third meeting with Terrence

            Last Thursday Terrence and I met up for a third time at the bookstore. I was a little nervous about finding things to talk about this time because he is pretty shy and I feel like we have covered a lot of topics so far. Beforehand, I asked one of my friends who is majoring in Communications what kinds of things would be good to ask a foreign exchange student. I used a couple of her suggestions and Terrence and I ended up having a great conversation.

            We started talking about fall break and he said he needed to go to Dallas again to get more gifts for his family. He said he already has them for his brother and parents, but now he needs to get them for his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. He said that in China it was expected to bring back presents for the entire family anytime someone visited a new place. I asked him if family was very important in Chinese culture and he let out a laugh as if it were a ridiculous question and confirmed that it was extremely important. Getting your family’s approval on all important decisions is something they hold in high regard.

            Terrence asked me a very interesting question when we were on the topic of family; he asked if an American had to choose between family and work, which one would we choose.  I wasn’t sure what exactly he was asking so he rephrased it and said that if a man or a woman got a job in a different state and would have to be away from his or her family, would they take it? I thought about it for a second and replied that in most cases they would only take it if their family were able to relocate with them. If they were forced to leave their family behind for the job I don’t think most Americans would make that sacrifice. He told me that in China they wouldn’t think twice about it—they would take the job. This showed me that even though family is very important in Chinese culture, work is placed on an even higher pedestal. More specifically, money is what drives these decisions. Terrence said that money has the highest value in society and this is what drives their extraordinary work ethic.

            While we were on the subject of family values, I asked Terrence about his religious beliefs. He said that his family didn’t have any, but that most Chinese were Buddhists. I was confused then when he showed me his necklace that had a picture of Buddha engraved on it. I asked why he wore that if he didn’t believe in it and he said his grandparents had given it to him. For reasons I was too shy to ask about, his family had moved away from his grandparents’ religion but he still felt obligated to wear the necklace as a sign of respect towards them.

            There was a bit of an awkward silence as I tried to think of a new topic of conversation when Terrence said, “China is very interesting.” I asked what he meant and he began telling me about all of the places in China he has visited and which ones were his favorites and why. His favorite place in China is near Chengdu, which is about 3 or 4 hours from his house. He likes it because it is far away from any major cities and so there is much less pollution. It is also near the mountains and near a river, so he said it was beautiful and the air was so clean and fresh. It reminded me of Colorado because I have always felt that it was a relatively clean place, especially up in the mountains. I told him that if he ever got the chance he should try and visit Colorado because it would probably be very similar to this place he described at home.

            Terrence and I decided that next time we meet up we will go to the rec center and play a game of pool, since apparently he is very good at it. I look forward to our next meeting!